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Monday, December 1st, 2003
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HOLY CORNHOLE!!
I haven't updated in a damn long time!! Anyways my life has been nothing but good. I've been smacking bitches asses at the bars while I drink my beer. I LOVE BEER!! They always slap my face when I do it though and thats NOT SWEET!!! I have this new apartment thats a piece of shit and i watch football drink beer eat mozerella sticks and fart in my chair. LIFE IS GREAT!!!!!!
I have to shit.
~*JoeP
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Comments: Read 1 or Add Your Own.
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Wednesday, March 12th, 2003
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I think my shlong just shrank 3 inches!!!!! SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT!! this is no good. but its still a gigantic piece of meat. I need to do the deed...IF YA KNOW WHAT I MEAN!!!
I almost got fired from my focking job!! I guess i sexually herassed all the 12 year olds that came in too much. but hey I didnt just do it to the 12 year olds! I was giving the 25 year olds equal attention toooo!!
I think my new fetish is for big women to shit on my face. ugh im joking. that is kind of gross. I just want them to sit on my face.
BIG P IS A CUNT RAG!!!!!!!!
beer beer beer
bitches N hoes
strokin' the stump
having sex like wild pigs
those are my favorite things!!!!!!!
JoeP!!!
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Comments: Read 8 or Add Your Own.
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Tuesday, March 11th, 2003
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Hey suckas.
Listen to this whack ass story that happened.
So, Today I had the hugest craving for chicken wings so I thought i'd bring myself to the grocery store and buy some frozen ones. While I was there, i saw the hottest broad i've seen in awhile. She was walking down the cereal aisel, and i'm thinkin to myself "why the fack is this chick in the cereal aisel when she could be in my car banging my sexy shit?". So I walk on up to her, holding my chicken wings, and say, "hey hotness, whats your name?"
she says her name is Maria, and i'm thinkin "dude, i love french chicks", so this made this hoe 40 times hotter.
to make a long story short, we went to my car to get it on, but when she took off her pants, she had this gigantic wang. At first i didn't know what to do, but then i knew, because i do it all the time. so i wanked her off.
it was pretty sweet.
okay, chicken wings are ready. peace bitchesssssss!!!
~*joeP
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Comments: Read 2 or Add Your Own.
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Monday, January 6th, 2003
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this is serious
i have not knocked boots for fucking ever!!!!!!!!
someone please atleast come and give me a BEEJAY!
i think my dick may be stuck in its upright position
it needs a good sucking
and a good jerking
and a good caressing
and a good sqeezin'
and a good washin'
come on now
JoeP
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Comments: Read 7 or Add Your Own.
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Tuesday, October 1st, 2002
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ahhhhhhh shit!
It's so damn early!! I should be sleeping for another 6 focking hours! shatty! I bet most of you have been wondering where I have been? Well I will tell you where I have been. Drinking beer and bangin' them ho's! And I bet you are wondering why I am up so early! Well I have to go to court in about two minutes. I got a speeding ticket the other day because I was going 60 on a 35 road. That was probably my 5th ticket. I might lose my license...fuck that! I will be one crazy mother fucker who drives his station wagon even without a damn license! law shmaw!
I have not talked to Penny in a long time...and I don't give a flying fuck either. She's probably ho'n it in the Ghetto somewhere fucking niggas and shit. She'll come running back to me one day. Just you wait.
And to all you assholes out there. Don't tell me how to run my life and deal with a breakup. This is how I do my shit so go fuck yourself. Maybe if you give me money or were some hot chick I could do...I'd listen. Other then that...don't give me advice. good bye.
JoeP
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Comments: Read 5 or Add Your Own.
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Thursday, August 29th, 2002
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um. livejournal hates me. no one reads my shit and comments. seriously....can someone please comment in my journal at least once? that would make me a happy horny man you know. And when i get hornay...ya know what i do? oh ya baby....jerk it! UH! man do i gotta piss like crazy. i didn't even drink that much beer today. probably half of the amount i usually drink.
hey penee! FUCK YOU WHORE!!!! SUCK MY HAIRY TESTICLES! Actually don't do that because you like that. I wouldn't want you doing something you enjoy.
I saw three hott broads in a row today. I wanted to rail them hard all at the same time. livejournal sucks. fuck off.
JoeP
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Comments: Read 7 or Add Your Own.
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Saturday, August 17th, 2002
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| Time: | 5:32 pm. |
| Mood: |  horny. |
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evening everyone,
man i wish i had more friends! i find myself doing the same thing everday without the company of a friend. sometimes i really wish i had a solid brotha i could watch tv, drink beer and wack off with. but i wouldn't want him watching me beat it. hah. and i wouldn't want to watch him beat it either. penelopee is a big slut. and i mean BIG. actually scratch that....she's a FAT SLUT! first she uses me to get bobby back and now she's talking about all these other guys. SERIOUSLY YOU FAT BITCH! LICK MY HAIRY ASSHOLE! a few days ago i went to get some tires and i was driving down the high way and i see this hot babe cruzing in her hot car! I didn't know what to do so the first thing i could think of was to follow her. so i just kind of screwed the whole getting new tires idea and followed her for about an hour. i keep on following her and we end up in this neighborhood and i look back and there are a bunch of cops around me. ya...she called the cops of me cuz i was follwing her. so i got arrested. oh well. there will be more bitches 'n hoes to come. i'll be sure to be more sneaky when i decide to follow another broad. tonight i actually have plans....but buddy tony is giong to pick me up and we are going to some bar and then to his house to watch some wrestling. i pray to get a hot chick! AH! shit...my dick just got wicked hard because i just had this vision of me fucking this girl really hard. ok now i am horny and must go jerk my thing now. good bye.
JoeP
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Comments: Read 1 or Add Your Own.
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Saturday, August 3rd, 2002
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| Time: | 12:16 pm. |
| Mood: |  irritated. |
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im going to sit on my ass, drink beer, watch porno and wack off for the rest of my fucken miserabel life. not that i dont do that already. penny totally used me. that bitch. i gave her fucken everything. then she goes runnning back to bobby. fuck that bitch. fuck bobby too. who the hell would have the name bobby too. what a fucken queer. i hope they fall off a bridge plunging onto razor sharp rocks. man! i was really digging penny and the time we spent together. i thought she felt the same for me but i guess not. i was just there so she could get mcdonalds and for the humpity hump hump action. usually i could care less about dumb broads....but im feeling pretty hurt right now. ahhh i know what would help. BEER, BEER AND MORE BEER!! BAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
JoeP
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Comments: Add Your Own.
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| Time: | 2:27 am. |
| Mood: |  drunk. |
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So today I realized.. that I wanted to eat some candy. Then I realized that there was no candy that was flavored like beer. So i got beer instead. I am going to become an inventor guy one day and invent beer flavored candy. I bet it will sell like nobody's business. It would be kind of like those baby bottle pops, only beer bottles. I also realized that I am an alcoholic. But now, once I think about it and stuff I dont really care.
So I went to the store, and i was going to get some more beer, and so i was standing near the freezer.. and um once I saw the beer actually, I got a really big boner. So I had to quickly run.. well.. walk faster than normal to my 89 chevy and whack off. Then I had to go all the way back into the store and get the beer.
So now, um, after all the exercise of today, I took a nap and drank beer. Now, I need to whack off again. There is a special on E! about girls in the Bahamas. There is lots of beer there.
I uh, think I met the woman of my dreams. Yeah. Mcbabenator, yeah she really makes me hot. Sometimes, I really make her hot too.
Well, I really need to go now, because, well before, I just had a semi.. now, its getting big.
*JoeP~
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Comments: Add Your Own.
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I'm back all you fools out there! I bet you were all wondering what happened to me! Well here is my story....
One day I was sitting around naked on my couch eating chicken, drinking beer, watching porno and wacking off. Than someone starts to fucken bang on my door! So I yelled 'What the fuck do you bastards want?!' And they keep banging and are like 'Open UP!' So I pick me fat ass up and open the door. It was some suave guy...he was a good looking guy. Prolly bangs a lot of chicks. So I'm thinking he's probably here to tell me that I was a million dollars or something....but no. He says that I have been fired from my job because I didn't show up for a week and that I had to be out of my house in 3 hours. I was like WHAT THE FUCK!! Where the hell was I going to stay!? So I got all of my belongings out and told myself I was gonna go on a road trip. I drove myself all the way down to Georgia and now living with some other man who enjoys the same stuff that I do.
One time me and him decided to have some people over including hot chicks and drink beer and do the usual. I drank like 100 beers than passed out and woke up in the hospital and was there for 3 weeks. I don't really know what was wrong with me cuz I don't have a good listening span. Oh well now I'm here and i just love you all.
Well I'm going to go purchase some beer, chicken and a blow up doll. good bye to you all!
JoeP
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Comments: Read 3 or Add Your Own.
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I have to go to work really soon. Damn people make me wake up early and go in early because someone is on vacation. People who go on vacation suck major wank. The only reason they go on vacation is to pick up chicks. Damn hoes. If that is the reason....they should bring me with them. Im sexy. WHO CAN RESIST ME?!
Ya so I had two friends about a day ago and than yesturday one girl decides to take me off her friends list. That wasnt too nice. Never plan on making her any food like i said.
Im gonna try to get into the porn business cuz I love sex and women and I could become rich. I could cook at the same time because I am an awesome cookeroo! While we are doing out thing Ill make pankcakes or something. YA KNOW!! I know all you find women would love that. I should go warm up my car now cause its so shitty and might not get me too fat! Far i mean! haha
*JoeP~
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Comments: Add Your Own.
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Yeah.. so i just woke up.. and its 1:36. I had an AWESOME night though.. i drank like.. 37 beers and watched the 1988 superbowl that i had on tape, 4 times. Damn it, i wish i played football, cause those guys get to wear the coolest pants. Mm...
I'm calling out of work today. I'm not used to doing anything on Sunday's, so i think i'm just going to stay home, eat chips, drink beer, and whack off.
I think i'm really starting to really fit into this live journal community. I have 2 friends. They are both really hot chicks. Mmm.. speaking of hot chicks.. i gotta go.. umm... do something.
Spankfully Yours,
Joe
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Comments: Add Your Own.
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I haven't really gotten a chance to write in this because I've quite the busy man! I just got a new job working at a restaurant as a chef. Im quite the cook.....so if any of you fine ladies would like to come to my place...I'll cook you up something spectacular. ;) Its called The BBC Grill. I work there from 8 to 4.
Anyways. I love women!!!!!!!! MMMMMMMMMMM!!! They are yummy!!
Okkkkkkkkkk. Im gonna go get drunk and watch some football! SEE YA!
*JoeP~
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Comments: Read 2 or Add Your Own.
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fattymcdaddy's journal
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